During pool today, someone asked me a weird question. Why is it that I never make much mention of Choco in my blog. Weird, because I thought Choco was mentioned in almost every other post. Anyways, trust me when I say some ask even more absurd questions about Choco.
Privacy issues aside, what do you really want me to say about me and Choco?
Our dates are so boring. Would anyone be interested to know how we manage to flood a friend's condo's public (ha! the irony) toilet with millions of bubbles with turbo bubble technology and me dancing in them, or how me and Choco would play scissors, paper, stone and the winner would take a step up just to finish that awfully long flight of stairs from DXO to Marina Square or how we manage to make either extremely witty or incredibly lame puns like - Choco: Dear, are you hungry? Me: No, I'm Huineng. - or how we would just sit by the steps outside Vivo bobbing our heads and singing to every song we know in Choco's mp3, enjoying the cool breeze and facing Sentosa and its beautiful lights?
Anyone? Nope, absolutely not.
The truth of the matter - and I can't find any more simpler ways to put it across - is that Choco is not my boyfriend, but my caregiver(buying me effervescent Vitamin C tablets), my protector (standing in front of me on down-riding escalators and behind me on up-riding escalators just to make sure I dun fall, erm, too badly), my grinder (for me to bite!), my comfort (saying I'm pretty, even with two big yellowing front teeth), my secretary (booking my dental appointment, remembering brands of contact lens I've tried and how I felt about each of them), my shoulder to lean on, my movie khaki, my breakfast/lunch/dinner/supper buddy (on top of many others, of course) and basically, my everything. And the best thing? Choco's mine.
I hope the above is sufficient to clarify any of your doubts about Choco. =D
It's not hard to fall, when you float like a cannonball..
there’s still a little bit of your song in my ear there’s still a little bit of your words i long to hear you step a little closer to me so close that I can´t see what´s going on
Im so tired studying socio. I miss u dear..
When you're gone, pieces of my heart are missing you..
These days, I realise I'm losing my ability to express myself, both in words and in speech. Have been feeling melancholy but I can't exactly put a finger on what is bothering me. Maybe I do, but I plainly refuse to admit it.
On my way home from pool earlier on, one of my favourite song was played over my mp3. It enlightened me. I'm caught in a one-way street, with the monsters in my head and eventually, when it's over I'll breathe again. But what if I can't wait till then. Sigh..
Friday afternoon is coming real soon, and I thank God for that. Being with Choco sets everything right.
I can feel the magic floating in the air Being with you gets me that way
I'm sorry for stealing away your afternoon and bringing you to Serangoon Gardens just to lemme stare at while you do your readings. I feel both sorry and glad that you dun blame me and that you yearn to see me as much as I do for you. Being sick sucks but being yours beats anything in this world. =D
Looks like we made it Look how far we've come my baby
Yesterday I was feeling really upset. I got back my first lit assignment and the tutor had to make it sound so worthless with his harsh comments. He even criticized me on my ability to construct proper English sentence and went as far as saying I should find a classmate and have him/her vet through my work being submitting. (Just to clarify, I did send it to Choco before posting it up.) I felt undignified, needless to say, and I got so depressed I told Huimin during Nation Building that I'm emo-ing, don't mind about me. Huimin tried comforting me saying this is my first assignment and all but it didn't really help.
When I repeated my sob story to Pei Fang today, she looked at me with wide, amazed eyes, asking if I've ever did Lit before. So I told her, erm, well, the last time I did that was in Sec 2? She was like, no wonder. Then, she proceeded to tell me that her friend, who possessed a good command of English, once handed-in a Lit essay. The teacher numbered each sentence at the end of the sentence. So it goes all the way from 1, 2, 3, ... 34 to 35 and after that wrote "These 35 sentences make no sense to me".
My gosh, and I thought mine was bad enough.
Anyways, in today's sociology the lecturer was covering the topic of Aging. She screened a video clip of Elderlies Suicide and the clip got me really blue. One of the ladies, faced with the prospect of her husband passing on before her attempted to bleed to death by sawing off her hand. Her husband found her in time and she was rescued and her hand sewn back. When her husband did pass on, she attempted suicide again. I feel for her. I know how terrible it must have felt for one's loved one to pass on before oneself. The emptiness, the void in the heart and the long hours on the bed between dusk and dawn. It must have felt that everything for the past 4-5 decades was just gone, right before your eyes.
When I met Choco after socio lect I gave Choco a tight squeeze. Really trying hard to stop time and let the moment linger. If only I've concentrated hard enough. Maybe I could have done it.
For the longest time, life has been about me and Choco, this big bubble I've created for us and it's unhealthy. Like now, I'm having my recess week and Choco still has school, I dunno who to call, where to go.
Somebody help me out yes?
sigh.
If anybody even cares......
On a totally random note, should I rebond my hair????
(11:28 PM) Choco: dear (11:28 PM) Choco: deer (11:28 PM) Choco: sometimes (11:28 PM) Choco: i think you're in your (11:28 PM) Choco: own (11:28 PM) Choco: BUBBLE. (11:28 PM) Choco: ugh. (11:28 PM) n3ng: no (11:28 PM) n3ng: u're in my bubble too (11:28 PM) n3ng: dear u dun lub me anymore? (11:29 PM) Choco: shouldn't i be asking u tt qn? (11:29 PM) Choco: you don't love me anymore? (11:29 PM) Choco: you think i'm invisible is it?? (11:29 PM) Choco: fart, burp (11:29 PM) Choco: then pretend you didn't do it
To Choco:
If it makes you happy, I'll admit all my burps and farts next time. (=
You're busy now, you probably wouldn't be reading this until Sun, earliest. I was reading a couple's individual blogs and their entries after the break-up -all filled with hatred and regrets- scared me.
I was reminded of the times whereby I keep throwing tantrum, keep rejecting you and myself. It isn't easy to come by this far and I jus wanna let you know that I cherish you a lot and I wouldn't give us up for anything in this world.
My problems are my own and I will seek to resolve them myself.
If I were blue, would you be there for me, And whisper in my ears that's ok. Would you stand by me, let me hold you tight, And say you love me one more time.
If I feel good, would you slow dance with me, And touch my lips with tender loving care, Would you die for me, would you run with me, And never look back..
Would you be there to love, to be with me? Would you swear that your love is always true? Would you say that you'll always be the one, to take my breath away?
Would you be there to love, to be with me? Would you swear that your love is always true? Would you say that you'll always be the one, to take my breath away?
Would you be there..
If I am away, would you still think of me, And wished that you could hold me now. Would you die for me, would you run with me, All the way ...
Would you be there to love, to be with me? Would you swear that your love is always true? Would you say that you'll always be the one, to take my breath away?
Would you be there to save my soul tonight, Would you swear that your love is always true, Would you say that you always be there, To kiss my pain away,
Would you be there to love, to be with me? Would you swear that your love is always true? Would you say that you'll always be the one, to take my breath away?
Would you be there to save my soul tonight, Would you swear that your love is always true, Would you say that you always be there, To kiss my pain away,
Somethings get ugly the minute you go past skin-deep. This world is so ugly and now I wish I could stay in that bubble with Choco like how we used to, forever and ever.
Where only 'us' mattered, where it's all about us.
1. I'm so shocked that my car-sick came back, two years after it was gone. I was caught totally unprepared today. I was in the bus and I had no mint, no prunes, no plastic bag. The stretch along YCK is too scary to alight and puke. I had to keep tolerating until I reach my house's bus stop. I should have suspected that when I threw up on a cab ride home after OT-ing some when last month. Either it's back for good or I'm feeling sick and guess what, the last thing I need right now is to get sick before my assignment with my student tomorrow. And not to mention, tomorrow is a Thursday night, there's some event going on.
2. After meeting up choco and Inge and hearing some stories, together with other stories I've been hearing the past few days, I am suddenly so thankful for choco. Choco is the best lover anyone can have. Don't bother asking me who's choco because sometimes, ignorance is bliss. Good friends included. Anyways, there are so many things choco did for me, so much that if it wasn't for choco, I wouldn't be who I am today. Heck, I might just go berserk.
Hmmm, li can join me for the event tomorrow. 3 cheers for Huili! =D
After the puke, I feel faint. Even now. And I get pretty random.
To Smelly: PLEASE don't lose your aussie prepaid card. I named it as "Smellie au Hp" and I wish to see sms(es) from that name!! Your S'pore number is saved as "Charmaine LB Hp". Ha, go figure, not that hard..
Something really disgusting happened just now and I'm blogging about it without anymore details in hope that I can still remember what happened the next time I see this entry. It's between you and me, choco. =D
I'm not blessed with Venesse's height, Shu Lian's precision, Suyin's stamina, Simin's determination and Alisia's perseverance, I better do something about my netball skills. =(
I love you choco. Even though I may be anal at times and all, I want you to know that at the end of the day I really do cherish you a lot. =D
